About this episode:
Dr. Juli Slattery joins Coffee and Bible Time to discuss how Christians can find healing when struggling with sexual sin. From identity traps to rethinking sex as covenant, this powerful conversation offers practical steps and gospel-centered hope for anyone battling shame, addiction, or confusion around sexuality.
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1:40 Why Struggling with Sexual Sin Is a Silent Crisis in the Church
6:14 Why Surrendering Sexuality to God Feels Impossible
11:44 Finding Identity Before Battling Sexual Sin
14:41 4 Identity Traps That Keep You Stuck in Sexual Sin
20:48 Rethinking the Purpose of Sexuality
24:30 Why Christians Struggle to Believe God’s Design is Good
27:01 Why Willpower Doesn’t Work for Sexual Sin
30:46 How Sexual Sin Damages Relationships
33:08 First Steps Toward Healing from Sexual Sin
Hosted by Ellen Krause
1:40 – Why Struggling with Sexual Sin Is a Silent Crisis in the Church
Struggling with sexual sin often happens in isolation—largely because churches have historically been silent or uncomfortable addressing sexuality.
Dr. Juli Slattery opens the conversation by naming the deep emotional and spiritual wounds many carry, from sexless marriages to porn addiction, and how avoiding these issues can damage our relationship with God.
“To ignore your sexual wounds… will eventually tear away your love and commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ.”
Dr. Juli Slattery
Sexual sin comes with shame, loneliness, and, for some, deep anger at God.
But despite the soul-deep pain that so many of us suffer, churches rarely offer safe spaces for vulnerable conversations. But the consequences of ignoring that pain is an eroded faith and lack of spiritual intimacy.
6:14 – Why Surrendering Sexuality to God Feels Impossible
Many Christians who struggle with sexual sin don’t believe God really cares about their sexuality…at least not beyond rule-keeping.
But trust is the foundation of surrender—and many people don’t know Jesus well enough to hand over such a personal and painful area of life.
“You won’t surrender to someone you don’t trust, and you can’t trust someone you don’t know.“
Dr. Juli Slattery
11:44 – Finding Identity Before Battling Sexual Sin
The first step in overcoming sexual sin is not behavior modification, but rediscovering your identity in Christ.
True transformation happens when we see ourselves as new creations—not defined by our sexual orientations, past sins, or current struggles.
Too often, we attempt to fix our behavior before understanding our spiritual identity. That leads to short-lived attempts to change that often end with broken promises: to ourselves, to God, and to others.
But identity as a child of God enables lasting change.
“Most of our sexual questions and struggles are actually rooted in identity rather than behavior.”
Dr. Juli Slattery
14:41 – 4 Identity Traps That Keep You Stuck in Sexual Sin
Dr. Slattery outlines four traps people fall into: self-discovery, shame, performance, and relational dependence. Each one keeps people locked in cycles of guilt, confusion, or pride.
- Self-discovery trap: “I am what I feel or desire.”
- Shame trap: “I am forever defined by my failure.”
- Performance trap: “God loves me because I obey.”
- Relational trap: “My value depends on being desired.”
20:48 – Rethinking the Purpose of Sexuality
Many Christians struggle with sexual sin because they’ve adopted a secular view of sexuality—that it exists to express feelings or fulfill personal desires.
Dr. Slattery offers a more biblical view: sexuality is a symbol of covenant, not chemistry.
The world teaches that sex is about self-expression, pleasure, and passion, but Scripture teaches that sex is a covenant act between a husband and wife.
Marriage and sexuality are creations by God, designed to reflect God’s relationship with His people.
“God didn’t create sex to express romantic desire. He created it to symbolize covenant love.”
Dr. Juli Slattery
24:30 – Why Christians Struggle to Believe God’s Design is Good
When we misunderstand the purpose of sexuality, we start believing that God is withholding something good. Dr. Slattery challenges listeners to reshape their thinking and trust that God’s design brings deeper fulfillment.
“Until we rethink sexuality, we’ll keep believing that God is keeping something good from us.”
Dr. Juli Slattery
27:01 – Why Willpower Doesn’t Work for Sexual Sin
When people feel convicted of their sexual sin, they will often try and stop through sheer willpower.
Unfortunately, willpower is rarely enough to conquer the struggle with sexual sin, because it doesn’t take into account neurological, emotional, and spiritual layers.
Dr. Slattery explains how brain chemistry, past trauma, and identity issues contribute to long-term struggles with porn, masturbation, and sexual behavior.
- Sexual sin often forms deep neurological pathways.
- Willpower doesn’t address emotional pain or brain chemistry.
- Long-term freedom requires inviting Jesus into every layer of brokenness.
“People feel like the power of God isn’t enough because they’re Christians… but they still can’t stop.”
Dr. Juli Slattery
30:46 – How Sexual Sin Damages Relationships
Sexual sin doesn’t stay private — it spills into relationships.
Pornography, secrecy, and performance issues can erode trust, damage intimacy, and create deep shame within marriage. Healing involves more than confession; it requires relational restoration.
33:08 – First Steps Toward Healing from Sexual Sin
If you’re struggling with sexual sin, Dr. Slattery encourages starting with honesty before God.
Healing begins with surrender—not perfection. From there, practical help like group studies, counseling, and community can foster transformation.
- Begin with a prayer of surrender, not shame.
- Join a support group or book study.
- Seek Christian counseling for trauma and relational repair.
“Jesus loves it when we bring our messes. He doesn’t say ‘clean yourself up first and then come.’”
Dr. Juli Slattery
If you’re struggling with sexual sin, know this: your battle is not unique, your shame is not the end of the story, and God is not distant.
Freedom begins when we stop hiding and start trusting the One who made us—not just for behavior change, but for complete transformation from the inside out.
Resources:
Scriptures referenced:
- 2 Corinthians 5:17
- Galatians 2:20
- Luke 15:11-32
- 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
- Matthew 11:28
- Romans 12:1
Juli’s Favorite Bible Study Tools:
Want to learn more about Dr. Juli and her ministry? Check out her website here!
Surrendered Sexuality
How Knowing Jesus Changes…Everything
We tend to have pockets of our lives dominated by the flesh and driven by cultural wisdom. For many, sexuality is one of those pockets.
Recognized expert in biblical sexuality Dr. Juli Slattery brings her years of experience, biblical knowledge, and passion for the Lord in applying the call of Christians to surrender their views, questions, and pain to the God who changes everything.
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