How to Deepen Your Prayer Life: 3 Ways to Grow Closer to God

I remember the night before, in my bedroom, prepping for the next day. I had a notecard and a pen on my desk, getting ready to write out my checklist for the next morning: “Spend time with God, pray, get dressed, have breakfast…”

There have been more times than once that I have looked at prayer as a chore or a checklist rather than looking at it as an opportunity for growth, rest, and life change.

I remember the first time I prayed as a little girl. Being a new follower of Jesus, I was curious, excited, and found delight in knowing that I could share with Jesus my heart, pray for others, and have a childlike faith. When I was young, with the help of God’s guidance, my parents helped me learn how to pray. My posture was one of honor before God — head bowed, knees bent, and hands folded, or in my bed, eyes closed, with my parent next to me.

When Prayer Feels Like a Chore Instead of a Delight

As I got older, into my late teenage years, I felt that my prayer life went from delight to duty. I began to believe the lie that my prayers had to be perfect, that if they didn’t sound good, then they were not powerful. And that if I didn’t do it right away, then I wasn’t honoring the Lord.

I then remember a scripture that the Lord brought to my mind — Matthew 6:9, which says, “Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be your name.” This came after the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray (Luke 11:1), and He modeled it for them by reciting the Lord’s Prayer. When I read that, I thought: the same blueprint that the Lord provided to teach the disciples how to pray is the same blueprint I’ve been given in learning how to pray.

In reading that, I was reminded at that moment that God doesn’t want perfection in prayer. He wants honesty in prayer. And honesty leads to intimacy.

3 Ways on How to Deepen Your Prayer Life and Grow Closer to God

There are three things I am continuing to be reminded of daily when it comes to prayer, in order for it to become more of a delight instead of a duty.

1. Prayer Begins with Relationship

Prayer begins with relationship. Prayer is not a ritual. It is a discipline, a way to communicate with our Heavenly Father. When we pray, we are reminded not only of who God is, but also of who we are to him — his children, his daughters. Matthew 6:9 says, “This, then, is how you should pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.” When we pray, we recognize who God is and praise Him for it, and we seek to do what He has called us to do.

2. Deepen Your Prayer Life Through Intimacy with God

Prayer deepens through intimacy. When you go before the Lord in prayer, you are building upon intimacy in your relationship, spiritually and also emotionally. You are breaking down the walls or barriers you may have. It’s almost like you’re peeling back an onion, one layer at a time. Matthew 6:5-6 says, “When you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. But when you pray, go into the room, shut the door, and pray.” Prayer is not about the volume of your voice or the eloquence of your speech. Nor is it about performance. It’s about the posture and presence of God. Stop focusing on impressing others and start focusing on your growth with God.

3. Strengthen Your Prayer Life Through Trust and Surrender

Prayer matures with trust and surrender. There is something powerful about being fully honest with our Heavenly Father. He can handle our emotions, our thoughts, and our feelings. And if we want to draw near and closer to our Father, it starts with opening our hearts and laying everything at His feet — even if that means sharing the hard and uncomfortable things that we don’t want to share.

How to Make Prayer a Delight Instead of a Duty

Looking back, I see how much I saw prayer as a checklist, a thing to do, or a means of performance, instead of delight, power, and intimacy with my Heavenly Father. Now, I see prayer as a delight, an opportunity to connect and grow deeper in relationship with Him, which is far more lasting than a feel-good moment.

So today, if you feel like prayer has felt like a checklist to get off the list, or a rote performance — and I’ve felt this before too — I encourage you to pause and ask God to help you see prayer as a means of delight and presence with Him rather than a chore and performance for Him. Draw near to Him, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).