First Year of Marriage Insights – How we Overcame a Hard Year

Hey everyone, it’s Ash, and I’m here with Johnny from Coffee and Bible Time. We’re excited to spill the beans on our first year of marriage, give you insights, and answer some of your juiciest questions from Instagram. From communication hurdles to at-home date nights and thoughts on expanding our family, we’re diving into it all. Let’s jump right in!

1. Hardest and Easiest Adjustment to Marriage:

  • Hardest: Our biggest challenge has been communication and conflict resolution. A premarital assessment warned us, but post-marriage miscommunications highlighted the need for growth in these areas.
  • Easiest: Having Johnny as my best friend has made everything a breeze, from grocery shopping to church visits. His humor brings joy to every day.

2. Advice to My Single Self:

  • If I could talk to my single self, I’d say cherish every season. Understand that each phase comes with its unique joys and challenges. Marriage doesn’t fix everything, so appreciate the present.
  • Johnny’s advice to his younger self is to work on unhealthy habits and mindsets before marriage, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement.

3. Favorite At-Home Date Night Ideas:

  • Game nights are our favorite, bringing laughter and communication to the forefront.
  • Intentional mealtimes, especially on Fridays, provide a sacred space for connection.

4. Thoughts on Season of Singleness with God:

  • I encourage my single self to enjoy the season, recognizing it as a gift rather than a curse. It’s a time for personal growth and building a strong foundation with God.
  • Johnny highlights the importance of embracing the single season, understanding that it’s a time for personal development and growth.

5. Preparing for Marriage Resources:

  • I recommend Timothy Keller’s book, “The Meaning of Marriage,” praising its practicality and countercultural insights.
  • Johnny appreciates Gary Chapman’s “Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married,” particularly for its discussion questions fostering communication.

6. Support During Mental Health Challenges:

  • I share my experience of Johnny being a constant rock during my mental health struggles. His commitment to our marriage vows, despite the difficulties, was a source of strength.
  • Johnny acknowledges moments of impatience and insensitivity but emphasizes the learning and growth that comes from navigating mental health challenges together.

7. Can a Spouse Say No to Something Sexual:

  • We both stress the importance of open communication and mutual consent in the realm of intimacy. It’s about honoring each other’s comfort levels and glorifying God through the act.

8. Is Marriage What I Expected:

  • Lowering expectations, as advised by our pastor, has been crucial. While some aspects exceeded expectations, others fell short. It’s a reminder that real life isn’t a movie, and disappointments are part of the journey.

9. Chores and Healthy Submission:

  • Division of chores happened organically based on preferences and strengths. Open communication and occasional negotiations ensure a fair distribution of responsibilities.
  • We acknowledge ongoing exploration of what healthy submission looks like in our marriage, recognizing the importance of mutual respect and understanding.

10. Babies in the Near Future:

  • Johnny and I express our openness to having children, leaving the timing in God’s hands.

Thank you for joining us on this candid journey through our first year of marriage.

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