Healing From Childhood Wounds

Hosted by Ellen Krause

When Love Was Missing

When love is missing in childhood, it leaves a lasting ache. Many of us carry childhood wounds that still shape our view of God, ourselves, and others.

God will meet us in those empty places with compassion. But your healing journey needs to begin with honesty—it is only by acknowledging our wounds and choosing to let them heal that we can experience the hope of God’s restoring love.

You are not alone, and your wounds are not the end of your story.

Signs that you are still nursing childhood wounds:

• Overreacting to minor conflicts
• Difficulty believing that God really loves you
• Negative self-talk
• Fear of abandonment—even when there’s no real threat
• Perfectionism
• Constant need for validation
• Struggle to trust others
• Feeling unworthy of love or success
• Overworking for God’s approval

Kari’s Healing From Abuse

Though Kari grew up in a loving, supporting family, she found herself in a deeply abusive relationship that forced her to break contact with the people who loved her.

Years into it, her father managed to smuggle her a piece of paper. It wasn’t a heart-wrenching plea to come home, or a call to come to faith in Christ—her dad knew she wouldn’t respond to either of those. Instead, it was a list of ten things that were true about her. And as Kari read and re-read that list in the following months, she slowly began to believe that what it said about her was true.

One day, she turned to the only loving Person left in her life. Kari prayed,

“God, if you’re real, get me to safety.”

Not even ten minutes later, there was a knock at her door from someone offering her a way out.

To hear Kari’s full story, become a member of the Coffee and Bible Time Community.

Our Blessings In Christ

Many of us were not “blessed” by our parents. Some of us who were, like Kari, found that blessing snatched away from us against our will.

But when we come to know Jesus, He blesses us instead.

Ephesians 1:1-2:10 describes the spiritual blessings we have in Christ:

• Chosen (1:4)
• Adopted (1:5)
• Redeemed (1:7)
• Forgiven (1:7)
• Lavished with grace (1:8)
• Given an inheritance (1:11)
• Given the seal of the Holy Spirit as a pledge of our inheritance (1:13)
• Loved by God (2:4)
• Alive in Christ (2:4)
• Seated with Christ (2:6)
• Saved by grace, through faith (2:8)
• Created for good works (2:10)

These identity-shaping truths are the antidote to childhood wounds that told us we were unwanted or unworthy. Even if our earthly parents withheld affirmation, our heavenly Father pours out blessing—freely and abundantly. His truth redefines us.

“You’re chosen, you’re holy, you’re loved, you’re forgiven.”

John Trent

5 Elements That Heal Childhood Wounds

God uses simple but powerful acts to bring healing:

1. Meaningful Touch.
   Loving, appropriate physical touch is one of the first ways God designed us to experience connection and safety. When it’s missing or misused in childhood, God can gently restore it through healing relationships and His own comforting presence.
2. Spoken Words.
   Words have power—to bless or to curse. When life-giving words were absent or harmful ones were spoken over you, God offers a new identity through His Word, reshaping your inner narrative with truth.
3. Attaching High Value.
   To bless someone is to call out their worth. Healing begins when someone looks at you and says, “You matter. You’re chosen. You’re precious.”
4. Picturing a Special Future.
   Wounds often convince us that our future is limited or broken. God counters that with vision—speaking hope, purpose, and destiny over your life even if your past was filled with pain.
5. True Commitment.
   Real blessing sticks—it’s backed by consistent love and presence. Healing childhood wounds requires people who don’t walk away when things get hard, but stay for the long haul.

These are the building blocks of blessing. When we missed out on these growing up, childhood wounds formed. But we can both receive and give these healing elements today, with God’s help. He often brings restoration through intentional, loving relationships.

These are the building blocks of blessing. When we missed out on these growing up, childhood wounds formed. But we can both receive and give these healing elements today—with God’s help. He often brings restoration through intentional, loving relationships.

God Is Still Writing Your Story

No matter how painful your beginning was, God is able to redeem your story. He turns curses into blessings, weaving beauty out of brokenness.

Childhood wounds don’t have to define the rest of your life—but God does. He specializes in new beginnings and transformed hearts. You are not disqualified from His purposes because of your past.

“All of us, our life is like a story, written by the hand of God.”

John Trent

• Ask God to rewrite your story
• Look for how He’s already redeeming past pain
• Speak blessing over what once brought shame from childhood wounds

Releasing Bitterness: 2 Tools For Forgiving Childhood Wounds

Forgiveness is the turning point. When we release bitterness, we stop letting the past control our present.

John shares how he forgave his dad—not because his dad deserved it, but because John wanted to walk free. Forgiving childhood wounds doesn’t mean pretending they didn’t happen or throwing boundaries to the wind; it means choosing to declare that your war is over.

Kari shares two spiritual tools for forgiveness:

1. Saying “yes” to God
2. Anchoring your identity in Scripture

Sometimes, we don’t think we can forgive what has been done to us—but we can say yes to God helping us.

Using Isaiah 43:1 as a reminder, she encourages us to stay grounded in truth. Forgiving childhood wounds is a process—but it always begins with saying yes to healing.

But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.”

Isaiah 43:1

Practical Steps to Heal Childhood Wounds

Healing often looks like small, daily faithfulness. It may mean praying, journaling, saying no to toxic patterns, or saying yes to community.

These moments aren’t flashy, but they’re powerful over time. The key is showing up and trusting God to meet you in each step. He’s gentle with your childhood wounds and leads you slowly toward wholeness.

“Healing is not linear.”

Kari Trent Stageberg

• Keep a journal to track what God is healing
• Memorize a verse to battle the lies of childhood wounds
• Don’t isolate—seek safe community

A Blessing From Kari

In this closing moment, Kari offers a powerful spoken blessing to the listener—one that counters the pain of childhood wounds with the truth of God’s love and intentional design.

She reminds us that even if your earthly family didn’t affirm your worth, your Heavenly Father sees you, knows you, and blesses you.

You are not forgotten. You are chosen, set apart, and surrounded by a love that heals every broken place. This is your invitation to receive the blessing you may never have heard—but always needed.

Resources:

Scriptures referenced:

• Ephesians 1:1-2:10
• Deuteronomy 30:19
• Genesis 27-28
• Deuteronomy 23:5
• Isaiah 43:1

John and Kari’s Favorite Bible Study Tools:

• The New Testament in Modern English
• Contemporary Comparative Parallel Bible
• No Boundaries Books Journal
• Blue Letter Bible
• Daybreak Coffee
• PRAYR